Ex-pat is the short form of the word “ex-patriot” which is the term given to foreigners that live in another country. My first introduction to “ex-pat” culture happened four years ago. I was backpacking solo through Europe and my travels had taken me to Paris. Paris, as it is said, is for Lovers. I found this true. In Paris I felt lonely, homesick, and was sick of the cold weather, the French people and the high cost of everything in the city. Although this was one of the last places during my trip I’m ashamed to admit I still hadn’t quite figured out how to meaningfully travel.
I spent my days walking around Paris and trying to hit every site I could. This isn’t the most pleasing way to travel. I didn’t want to be a tourist but it was all I really knew at that point. Luckily on my last day I made a friend from my hostel named Joanne who had a better sense of Paris than I had. Joanne, clearly, was cooler than me. That night she suggested I go along with her to an ex-pat beat poetry night which was being held in a bar in a funky little neighborhood. This seemed like a Parisian thing to do. I happily accepted. When I first heard the term, I assumed an ex-pat was someone who had renounced their citizenship or was fleeing their home country. I’ve come to learn that these were regular people from around the world, who just happened to live in Paris for business or because it happened to be the right place for them.
I spent my days walking around Paris and trying to hit every site I could. This isn’t the most pleasing way to travel. I didn’t want to be a tourist but it was all I really knew at that point. Luckily on my last day I made a friend from my hostel named Joanne who had a better sense of Paris than I had. Joanne, clearly, was cooler than me. That night she suggested I go along with her to an ex-pat beat poetry night which was being held in a bar in a funky little neighborhood. This seemed like a Parisian thing to do. I happily accepted. When I first heard the term, I assumed an ex-pat was someone who had renounced their citizenship or was fleeing their home country. I’ve come to learn that these were regular people from around the world, who just happened to live in Paris for business or because it happened to be the right place for them.
As an ex-pat you need to learn to adjust quickly to your surroundings and do your best to assimilate yourself to the local culture and customs. Within an ex-pat community, you can find yourself amongst other foreigners who are also trying to make a living out of that new place and can relate funny stories about the locals. Some people are new and are facing the same problems that you are, but some have lived and have been established for months or years, and can be an excellent source of information for what to do and how to act.
On introduction, there is the usual easy small talk that you can both share:
1. “Hi I’m __________” 2. “Where are you from?” 3. “What brings you to Shanghai?”
Being a laowai in Shanghai is surprisingly easy. As I have mentioned countless times before, Shanghai is a cosmopolitan city and has been for most of its history. Compared to other areas of China, Shanghai is relatively young. The city doesn’t boast the cultural or political history of Beijing or Nanjing, but it has always served as a commercial port. Since the First Opium War (1839), Shanghai has been welcoming foreigners to it’s city to experience the exotics of the Orient. Years ago visiting sailors would tour the streets and get their fills in local brothels, but recent years have seen a crack down on prostitution.
The foreign banks that align the Bund sit directly on the Yangzte River, which allow tourists to contrast it with the grand Asian super-skyscrapers on the other side. The French Concession, built in the 1920’s, is completely inspired by Parisian architecture and French streets. Trees overhang the road and manicured parks (with straight lines) dot the sidewalks. The manors in the French Concession are large, and house the finest designer brands from around the world and Western comforts like breweries and little Italian restaurants. Last week it hosted the Shanghai Beer Festival (the second one since I have been here), and rock music entertained the crowd of gathered ex-pats who were there to enjoy the festivities.
On introduction, there is the usual easy small talk that you can both share:
1. “Hi I’m __________” 2. “Where are you from?” 3. “What brings you to Shanghai?”
Being a laowai in Shanghai is surprisingly easy. As I have mentioned countless times before, Shanghai is a cosmopolitan city and has been for most of its history. Compared to other areas of China, Shanghai is relatively young. The city doesn’t boast the cultural or political history of Beijing or Nanjing, but it has always served as a commercial port. Since the First Opium War (1839), Shanghai has been welcoming foreigners to it’s city to experience the exotics of the Orient. Years ago visiting sailors would tour the streets and get their fills in local brothels, but recent years have seen a crack down on prostitution.
The foreign banks that align the Bund sit directly on the Yangzte River, which allow tourists to contrast it with the grand Asian super-skyscrapers on the other side. The French Concession, built in the 1920’s, is completely inspired by Parisian architecture and French streets. Trees overhang the road and manicured parks (with straight lines) dot the sidewalks. The manors in the French Concession are large, and house the finest designer brands from around the world and Western comforts like breweries and little Italian restaurants. Last week it hosted the Shanghai Beer Festival (the second one since I have been here), and rock music entertained the crowd of gathered ex-pats who were there to enjoy the festivities.
It’s easy to be an ex-pat in Shanghai but it requires the leg work. We were lucky enough to have a support system as soon as we arrived and were able to make friends quickly among our fellow ESL teachers from Pacican who have been here since August. But it still requires leg work. Just because you are new in town doesn’t mean that everyone will be clamoring to show you around and initiate you in to the established ~CrEw~. As the new person you have to go out of your way to ask around about what’s going on and be active for your social life because if not you will be sitting on your hands on a Friday night wondering where everyone is.
Because I went to university with four of my best friends I didn’t have to learn some of those skills because the party usually came to us (Funhouse Forever!). My exchange in third year and teacher’s college in a new province slapped my social life in the face for my laziness, but I was usually pretty good at making friends. School and proximity makes it very easy. But Shanghai is a HUGE city. Extensive leg work is required.
Because I went to university with four of my best friends I didn’t have to learn some of those skills because the party usually came to us (Funhouse Forever!). My exchange in third year and teacher’s college in a new province slapped my social life in the face for my laziness, but I was usually pretty good at making friends. School and proximity makes it very easy. But Shanghai is a HUGE city. Extensive leg work is required.
Clubs in Shanghai resemble some of the clubs I’ve been to in Canada and Europe to the N^th degree. They’re very big, very loud and very laser-intensive. Similar to those everywhere, bass-heavy club beatz play, Chinese, ex-pats and tourists alike dance and people drink. The local Chinese prefer to go to clubs that the foreigners want to go to – that’s what makes them desirable. Unless you pay you are not allowed to sit-down, and if you are sitting down it’s because you paid for a booth and bottle service. If you know a promoter and get to a club at the right time, you can expect to have free drinks all night of whatever you want. Sometimes Chinese people will want to buy you a drink or 4. It doesn’t always end well (RIP cell phone).
For nightlife, there are microbreweries, upscale cocktail or beer bars, sports bars, dance clubs or dingy college bars to go to. Ex-pats have found them all. Tyler, James and I frequent a little place near our apartment that has 2-9 pm Happy Hour every day. Joy Bar, home of the World Famous Bacon Cheese Burger. We go about twice a week for some light refreshments (¥30 for BOGO Carlsberg pints) after work. Every single time we have been there we have seen Jim, who is a 60 year old English specialist teacher from Alabama who has been teaching around the world for about 20 years. He’s an interesting cat.
For nightlife, there are microbreweries, upscale cocktail or beer bars, sports bars, dance clubs or dingy college bars to go to. Ex-pats have found them all. Tyler, James and I frequent a little place near our apartment that has 2-9 pm Happy Hour every day. Joy Bar, home of the World Famous Bacon Cheese Burger. We go about twice a week for some light refreshments (¥30 for BOGO Carlsberg pints) after work. Every single time we have been there we have seen Jim, who is a 60 year old English specialist teacher from Alabama who has been teaching around the world for about 20 years. He’s an interesting cat.
The Chinese people do not cast you a sideways glance for much of what you do. Pee or spit on the street? Fine. Drink and/or drunk in public places? Fine! Napping where evere you fall? FINE!
Sometimes it can be frustrating when you are hungry trying to order a meal and the vendors are laughing in your face because of your foreignness and lack of ability to communicate. But most are very, very welcoming. Locals for whom foreigners are a novelty to are always excited to see you, no matter what your reason is.
My noodle man and I communicate as best we can with his tertiary English and my pathetic Chinese:
“Lah-mien?”
“Noo-dull!”
“shuh-shuh-shuh, noodle.”
“where you from?”
“Canada. Jia-na-dahren!” (points to self)
“ahhh, Canada! Very beautiful!”
We have fun.
A few weeks ago I was invited to play on the phys. ed teacher at my school’s men’s soccer team and despite my claim of mediocrity in soccer they welcomed me with open arms. It’s a good group of guys of whom I can communicate with exactly three of. But it doesn’t matter. I’m just happy to have a place to run around, which is really all we really need in life.
Sometimes it can be frustrating when you are hungry trying to order a meal and the vendors are laughing in your face because of your foreignness and lack of ability to communicate. But most are very, very welcoming. Locals for whom foreigners are a novelty to are always excited to see you, no matter what your reason is.
My noodle man and I communicate as best we can with his tertiary English and my pathetic Chinese:
“Lah-mien?”
“Noo-dull!”
“shuh-shuh-shuh, noodle.”
“where you from?”
“Canada. Jia-na-dahren!” (points to self)
“ahhh, Canada! Very beautiful!”
We have fun.
A few weeks ago I was invited to play on the phys. ed teacher at my school’s men’s soccer team and despite my claim of mediocrity in soccer they welcomed me with open arms. It’s a good group of guys of whom I can communicate with exactly three of. But it doesn’t matter. I’m just happy to have a place to run around, which is really all we really need in life.
As long as you can feel like you fit into a place for even a brief period of time it can make the distance away from home that much more manageable. I am one among many of my friends my age living life and working abroad away from our families and oldest friends to try something new for the sake of doing it. It’s the run on the dock and the jump before we take the plunge into the water of uncertainty that may become our “real lives”. But we only live once. It’s important to remember that you can swim back up and jump in as many times as you want. If you can find a place to feel comfortable with healthy relationships that’s all that really matters. It’s just unfortunate that it always takes so long to get to that point. This is real life. Make the most of it.
10 days left in Shanghai.
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10 days left in Shanghai.
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